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| Czechoslovakian Dong Wrangler | |
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 An old stamp depicting the creature | |
 Map of Czechoslovakia | |
| Statistics | |
| Description | Humanoid; Nuclear Mutation |
| First Sighting | Early 1930s |
| Last Sighting | Unknown |
| Country | Czechoslovakia |
| Habitat | Town of Schniederhof |
first reported in the early 1930s by a couple visiting the town Schniederhof then known as johnsvannia, the Czechoslovakian dong Wrangler is a creature locally well-known for its ability to wrangle multiple dongs at will.
There have been over 60 reported incidents of dong wrangling, from all over Czechoslovakia, but in particular in the Plzen region.
Origin[]
Before the legend, locals first identified the creature as AleŠ Branislav. AleŠ Branislav was only known officially as a construction worker form Schneiderhof for the Czechoslovakian Bohunice Nuclear Power from 1958-1959; according to official Soviet records. After that, all mentions of AleŠ Branislav disappear from the records; almost as if he vanished. It is to be presumed that he, like many unfortunate inhabitants of Czechoslovakia, tragically passed away in the Great Earthquake of 59'. However, local legends have preserved his name as a horrific creature and victim of the scandalous practices of the nuclear era... To Be Continued
Sightings[]
some where near where the tsar bomb was detinated.
Official Accounts[]
In 1993, Mikhail Gorbachev, the former premier of the USSR, was vacationing in Czechoslovakia with his family. According to him, one night he decided to leave the hotel in which he was staying, due to wanting to get a breath of fresh after eating. He chose to walk down a deserted path through a nearby forest. Unfortunately for him, he happened to be carrying a large vintage dong, given to him as a gift from the former President of the United States, Ronald Reagan. Gorbachev reached a clearing in the forest, and sat down on a nearby bench to catch is breath. Here is what happened, as described by Gorbachev: "Я сел, чтобы отдышаться, баюкая свой большой винтажный член, как будто это был ребенок. Внезапно из-за деревьев раздался громкий шорох, и подбежал очень высокий мужчина с сумкой, схватил мой донг и ретировался под покров леса. Президент Рейган был недоволен, когда я сообщил ему об этом." This witness account was later confirmed by residents of the nearby town of Schneiderhof to be a sighting of the Dong Wrangler. Source: https://urban-legendpedia.fandom.com/wiki/Czechoslovakia_Dong_Wrangler
Urban Legend and Folklore[]
Some say that this monstrosity stocks the hills in Russia now. he supposedly carries a handbag made out of human hair. Supposedly he had a wrestling match with Ronald Reagan. According to Mikhail Gorbachev he was nuked by a scientific test they carried out. more info can be found here: https://urban-legendpedia.fandom.com/wiki/Czechoslovakia_Dong_Wrangler
Possible Explanation[]
The Czechoslovakian Dong Wrangler is usually explained by the presence of what locals described as a "12 foot tall dude with a walker and a leather handbag" who was arrested in 1937 on charges of mass dong-wrangling. He disappeared in 1939, never to be seen again.